Since the designation of “Transformation” as my guiding principle for 2016 (my choice completely), life has been anything but routine. However, with change comes an inevitable cycle which includes a gestation component making me restless and antsy. I await the unfolding of something grand, usually with a mixture of both trepidation and impatience, without realizing that imperceptible, gradual change is already in process.
Such is what has occupied my time this past month. I relish the prospect of change (for the most part) but I want it to happen now. Anxiety about what the change will be has caused me to want to get out of my body as well as out of town. To take my mind out of this loop as well as treat my body to some serious relaxation, I embraced some little day trips to places steeped in nostalgia and love. This was serious healing and although I have returned home well rested, it is a challenge to simply be. The battle for meaning (a continuous polemic between rigor and complacency) is tempered with faith.
Well. According to my records, the new moon begins tomorrow and I have this final day of month five to post my blog. Transformation continues. Just when I think I will get a respite from change, new information comes and rocks my world. This past month I received many, many messages from my past. Some made me smile, some cry, and all made me listen to my inner being. Last month, I was preparing to remain true to my feelings no matter what others may try to place upon me through expectation or judgment. It was a good lesson. If you have tried to be honest with yourself, it’s okay to reserve your own counsel no matter what the prevailing customs may deem appropriate. I am not important and my presence is not required. Still, seeing images of individuals from one’s past will churn up many feelings. What matters most is that those feelings are acknowledged. Across time there were significant interactions that helped mold who we were to become. Because I listened to others and myself, I am happy that I am still open to change and the inevitable learning outcomes of change.
Here’s hoping next month is a little easier. 🙂
The surprises of Life continue to amaze. In choosing my touchstone word for the year, the consequences are completely unexpected. My routine is caught up in “Transformation” regardless of the original intent, humbling and irreverent as always.
Thus, my blogposts catch me in moments of imprecision, making it difficult to capture, in words dilemmas and paradox. Ah well…such is the path.
I will remain open to the continuing unfolding of events. The only thing that I am able to do right now is pay attention to the body. It is happiest when connecting with All My Relations of the Natural World.
Until next time…
It’s amazing how one word full of one’s heartfelt intention can bring about rapid change. I feel as though I’m leaping hurdles in fog. I just keep moving forward hoping that I may rest soon. My own sacred fire keeps me warm in the cold. Focusing on the moment at hand is all that matters.
I continue to address the needs of my body: lots of yoga and walking. This alleviates any anxiety that may creep into the musculature. Other than that, most of what unfolds before me is radiance. Humble gratitude is my blanket.
Reentry into North America has been fascinating. The winter weather belies a frost in both culture and adaptation these past three weeks. That is why I missed the New Moon blog post. On the other hand, perceptions may be misleading. What I do know is change is upon me and I desire to flow with grace.
It’s been important to me to ascribe to and embark upon periodic adventures in quotidian disruption. Uruguay was a prelude. I have read my cards for the New Year, and chosen my touchstone word, “Transformation”. This New Year is full of possibility even though it will result in shamanic death yet again. The humble path awaits.
Body Knowing has spoken its joy in physical exercise as well as both culinary research and experimentation. I found that I am much more playful at meal preparation. And while I still prepare the same foods, there is additional skill with variety. It is the same with exercise. Hard won fitness built a certain level of strength and endurance that determination does not intend to lose. There is less inhibition and more confidence regarding my own healing and mortality.
Surprising emails from friendly acquaintances have delighted me. It seems as though I’ve made a few more lasting relationships than I had ever imagined. I’m glad that I had the opportunity to experience another way of being. What I discovered is that we are all one. There is a tenderness in all of our hopes and dreams as humans on this beautiful planet.
I’m thinking of Spider Woman right now. She wove the world. Each one of us may weave a strand into the fabric of life and hope that it is a harmonious and aesthetically pleasing addition to the tapestry.
Happy New Year! Please remember our first feminine truth: Everything Is Born of Woman. Because it is thus, We are in Kinship with All of the Natural World.