Since the designation of “Transformation” as my guiding principle for 2016 (my choice completely), life has been anything but routine. However, with change comes an inevitable cycle which includes a gestation component making me restless and antsy. I await the unfolding of something grand, usually with a mixture of both trepidation and impatience, without realizing that imperceptible, gradual change is already in process.
Such is what has occupied my time this past month. I relish the prospect of change (for the most part) but I want it to happen now. Anxiety about what the change will be has caused me to want to get out of my body as well as out of town. To take my mind out of this loop as well as treat my body to some serious relaxation, I embraced some little day trips to places steeped in nostalgia and love. This was serious healing and although I have returned home well rested, it is a challenge to simply be. The battle for meaning (a continuous polemic between rigor and complacency) is tempered with faith.
This month has seen busy preparations for the impending lifestyle change as I will be living in South America for a while. This change fits nicely with this month’s truth about the cycle of life, a change from birth through death and then renewal. I am so ready for a new adventure! I am blessed in that I like to flow with change. I welcome new possibilities. The downside of it is that I battle patience. Once I am ready for the new, I have to live with the dead zone that precedes it. This is the part that I often call “nebula-ville”. It’s so foggy and I’m not myself. However, the positive message “All good things in their own perfect time” is good to repeat because it’s true. So I am pleased because the time has finally arrived and I go willingly and embrace change. I am not being naïve to think that it won’t have its challenges. Rather, I am mentally prepared to see with new eyes and feel with new senses. I promise to let you know how it goes. Ho!
This time of the year, when the harvest is in full swing, it’s nice to sit outside in the cool part of the day, plant one’s bare feet on the ground, look upward through trees into the blue, and breathe.
When the working world becomes a challenge, it seems even more important to find some natural space somewhere and recharge. Give yourself a treat. Look up a new recipe that incorporates nature’s bounty of the season and give it a try.
Yesterday, I undertook the process to make fresh stuffed grape leaves for the first time. Over the weekend, I had trimmed some vines and cut off the tender leaves. The vines became an interwoven circle to be used as a frame for the Medicine Shield I am constructing with my class participants.
Having stored the leaves in a plastic Ziploc bag, I started the day blanching them in hot salted water and then made a mix of ground lamb, quinoa, lemon and middle eastern spices. Stuffing and wrapping them was easy since it was much like making tamales (of which I have considerable practice). The small packets were braised in a wine infused chicken broth.
We’d never had fresh grape leaves before. It was simple and soothingly good. Thank you to All Our Relations! You give us love and energy!
Change in my world has been imminent. There have been signs everywhere. Waiting for it over the past month was absurdly agonizing. However, I know that I have enduring relationships. I don’t have to look far for meaning. All I have to do is conjure change. I know that All My Relations will help me.
So I began to dream change by using the symbolic representation of Real Estate. However, my dream of change has taken a different course. One of my “adopted” daughters moved in with me last Thursday which preceded our planning by a couple of months. I find this amusing.
Other omens of change are unfolding. It is exhilarating. I love to dust off the cobwebs and try something new.
Whatever happens will have its challenges, but it will be good too.
I first have to apologize for not keeping up with my blog these past few weeks. This year I promised to relay all of the “happenings” that I have observed in my life related to the feminine truths. As you recall from my last post, I experienced a sudden crumbling, if you will, of my right knee and my ability to support myself. During the eight moon cycle, the time in which I am to embrace change, I experienced a breakdown in my respiratory system. This was an old wound that reoccurred dramatically and frightened me because I could not fathom why it had reappeared. When one is unable to breathe, the body begins to shut down and the most that one can hope for is to remain calm and move through the intense discomfort in a systematic way.
The first thing I did was call upon the body workers that I know and trust. I knew that the origins of this dis-ease centered in my throat chakra from traumatic stress. Since that time, my olfactory system is extremely sensitive and I have become susceptible to asthma (which, thankfully, I do not have). I live in a green belt where during the month of August, there is a lot of agricultural dust in the air. One of the driving forces of my taking up the mantle of “shamanic” warrioress is the capability of healing myself. And, as I posted last time, when your intuitive self knows that you are not doing what you know to be right you are out of balance with your ethical self. I have desired to be more in sync with my body and, confronted with shamanic death, I knew that I had to act with a consistent determination and courage.
There are many things that I have learned these past 3 weeks. I have cleansed my body from the inside and out. I have rationally identified the precise stressors (physically, emotionally and spiritually) that will throw me off kilter. I have embraced this change. I am a different person now. The healing is proceeding slowly and sometimes I think it is good and sometimes I think it is extremely frustrating. But I am, most definitely getting better–healthier and (w)holier. Today was the first day that I felt clear enough to write. So I hope you will forgive the lapse.
* “She Who Heals” is the name of the eighth moon from Jamie Sams book, The 13 Original Clan Mothers.